|
Date : Wednesday, March 31, 2010 Time : 2:58 AM Ya. What am I afraid of?
Why can't I just pick up the phone and dial? It's as simple as ABC! Sometimes, I really wonder. I'm not helping myself! AT ALL! I need someone to talk to and it's only a button away! What am I doing?! Really! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sometimes things are better written than said. You might think why write on the blog while you can just say on msn. But somethings are just better written. Get what I mean? At least I don't have to embarrass myself again. I worry about you all the time.
Date : Tuesday, March 30, 2010 Time : 5:36 PM Ugh! SHIT!!
It happened and it's worst! Those retarded loanshark people splashed paint and wrote on the wall. GREAT! I mean I don't give a damn if they splash on our door cos we are so used to it already but they splash on our neighbour's door! BEST! Not one door but three doors! BEST UNTIL CANNOT BEST ANYMORE! Just because they cannot splash on our door [cos it was open] they go splash on our neighbour's door. WTF!! Loansharks are retarded and stupid. Our door open then come at night la! I help you! No need splash other people's door! You know they will call the police so why bother splashing on their door! Make things worst isn't it! Instead of one family calling the police, all three families call the police -.- retarded la. No wonder they are loansharks. NO BRAIN USELESS PIECE OF BLOODY STINKING SHIT!!! Do in the mid-afternoon somemore! But all I'm thinking of is whether my dad will be ok a not. Although I hate him for all this shit! Somehow or rather a part of me just give in... ˙ʎɹɔ puɐ ɯooɹ ʎɯ uı ʇıs sı op uɐɔ ı llɐ ˙op oʇ ʇɐɥʍ ʍouʞ ʇ,uop ı ˙oʇ oƃ oʇ oɥʍ ʍouʞ ʇ,upıp ı ˙noʎ qɹnʇsıp ɐuuɐʍ ʇ,upıp ı ʇnq uǝddɐɥ ƃuıɥʇ ǝɥʇ uǝɥʍ pɐq os noʎ llɐɔ oʇ pǝʇuɐʍ ı ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My mum just got an sms from my dad saying he will not be back FOREVER! I mean like seriously! Instead of facing your problem you run away?! And leave your shit to us! We'll be facing your shits you know, not you! Why do we have to clean up after you! Call yourself a man! At least have some balls la FOR GOODNESS SAKE! FOREVER?! You'll come back when everything's okay. When my mum clears your f-king debts. You'll just act like nothing has happen. So ridiculous!
Date : Time : 12:57 AM Do you know the tofu man , the tofu man, the tofu man. Do you know the tofu man who lives in tofu land :) Of cos I wanna talk to you. Its just that I don't how. My mind goes blank every time I talk to you And when you go offline I regret not telling you. But I don't think you would want to hear it either. Sometimes I wish I hadn't confess to you Sometimes I'm glad I did. I don't even know if it's a good thing or a bad thing. But for now, I'm glad I did:) Giving up doesn't mean I'm weak. Sometimes it means that I'm strong enough to let go.
Date : Sunday, March 28, 2010 Time : 8:46 PM I BLOG TO EXPRESS NOT TO IMPRESS. argh! I'm so f-up! Sorry but ya. I hate hate him so bad! I know I'm not suppose to hate him since he is after all my dad, but the things he does is unacceptable! He USED TO borrow money from loan sharks and my mum had to clean up his shit for him. She took a really long time to clear his debt [cos apparently he was declared bankrupt] so he got no money to pay the freaking loan shark people. Okay, it used to be the past so let bygones be bygones. But recently he borrowed AGAIN!!! Now we are receiving endless telephone calls from them, prolly soon aft that will be paint on our doors AGAIN!, writing on walls AGAIN! When he wants to borrow money from my mum he goes all nice but when my mum doesn't want to lend him, he goes bonkers! I mean literally! I don't hate people but dislike and the person I really hate now is someone in my family! I mean why?! Am I a horrible person to tell the people who read my blog how horrid he is by posting this post? I know by reading this post you might think 'he's not THAT horrid'. I have experience it many times, those things he have done to us, it's just that this is a recent thing so I had to post it to vent my anger. I just don't wanna bother people abt my problems. They have their own to handle, don't wanna add to their burden. As much as I want to talk to someone........oh well. Dear Lord, I know you will make things right again :) I trust in you.
Date : Time : 2:16 AM  You're my first loveYou're my true love You're the reason why I breath I will give you my devotion All of me.
Date : Thursday, March 25, 2010 Time : 12:09 PM argh! My chest is hurting again -.-
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  Dear YOU, Sometimes I just feel like giving you up but there's always something pulling me back. All this shouldn't happen in the first place. I like you, I really do. Many times when you're online I just wanna say how much I miss you but I just don't have the courage to. Sorry if I have to say all this but it's just my thoughts. Don't worry I'll let you go..soon enough. Pls be patient with me. Love, ME I've so much to say but I can't seem to put them down in words. Contradictions.
Date : Tuesday, March 23, 2010 Time : 8:34 PM _______, you're spcial and you mean everything to me:)
Nothing will ever change that. The deepest scars are those we cannot see.
Date : Monday, March 22, 2010 Time : 1:14 PM Retreat was goood!
Just a real quick post. Day 1 we had worship and sharing session, mac for supper, free and easy til 3am :) went crazy because I drank coke!! Videos and pictures will be up.....soon haha Day 2 we had worship session, activity which was colouring a picture from the outside to the inside, which, was painful for me cos my arm was aching still and I had to colour for a period of time. Then we had to share about our feelings when we were colouring, why we choose the colours, what does it represent. Confession was next, lead by Father Timmy:) After lunch, had another activity where we had to walk around St Teresa's church thinking about moments when we need God the most. The most emotional session was next and It was overwhelming but it was awesome! Like seriously. The best session during the retreat. They had us sit in a circle 5 standing(outside circle) 5 sitting(inside circle) The ones standing had to say to the person infront a phrase or word that he/she wish that they would hear it when he/she was younger. So when I said it (which was 'I Love You') I started to cry. When it was my turn to be seated down and hear what the people had to say and what they wanted to hear when they were younger, I was crying real hard. I nv would have seen this session coming. After the sesion and a good cry, I feel so much better:) it really helps alot. You have to experience it! It's really good. Anyways, after dinner we had healing which the facils would pray for us and it was another emotional session again (for some of us). After day 2 I felt very peaceful:) Day 3 was a short day, reflecting on what we went through this 2 days but I kinda slept like most of the reflecting session :p super tired. Had mass in the morning than reflecting session. Watch a movie after lunch, paying it forward. Can't summarize the story cos apparently I was sleeping :p so dint watch anything. Closing session was next and it all ended ard 530pm. I know loong post. I thought it was gonna be a short one but I had to get into the details :) ---------------------------------------- So now this post isn't related to the camp. I was worried this past three days I dunno why (as usual). I just felt worried :(
Date : Sunday, March 21, 2010 Time : 8:23 PM Hey y'all!
Just came back from Youth Ministry camp at St Teresa (: super tired to blog now, so shall do it tomorrow (: Been worried about you lately :(
Date : Time : 2:30 AM WORRIED :(
Date : Thursday, March 18, 2010 Time : 9:45 AM I've just lost a good friend :'(
she's gone just like that. I'm starting to miss her so much. Although she takes drugs and all but in my heart, she the best:) Just attended her funeral:( At least I know she's safe in God's hands :)
Date : Wednesday, March 17, 2010 Time : 3:22 PM Argh!! 3 major test today!!!
History, social studies and chem!! I think I screwed all of it up! Maths and english tmr and Econs on friday.
Date : Tuesday, March 16, 2010 Time : 9:10 PM This morning I woke up crying -.-
I think I was crying in a dream or something but somehow can't remember the dream so weird. haha Anyways, CAs this week! 1 down(Bio) 4 more to go :) You mean the world to me and I hope I make that obvious everyday (: If you had a choice, would you rather know me or would you not?
Date : Sunday, March 14, 2010 Time : 11:30 PM Here's like 30 random things abt myself.
I know I've done this in my old blog but some are updated (: Warning: it's gonna get pretty boring. I think Haha 1) I love cheeese! 2) I recently have a crazy obsession with elephants 3) I love looong bus rides 4) i'm starting to love beige-ish colour stuff 5) the one worst thing i extreamly extreamly HATE the most and cannot ever tolerate is animal cruelty 6) when I'm really tired and can't sleep, I tend to stone. 7) I don't like shopping :/ 8) I'm always random 9) When I eat, I ALWAYS leave the best for last. 10) I don't eat yellow noodles except for pasta and white noddles(: 11) I love love love soya bean and tofu 12) I ALWAYS have m&ms in my bag 13) I am an emotional person which is not a good thing 14) I toss and turn in bed for 1 hr plus just to sleep 15) I love singing, just that I don't show it 16) People who don't know me thinks i'm quiet, people who do wish i was:) haha 17) I cherish and treasure my friends ALOT. 18) An ice-cream a day keeps me happy all day 19) I laugh at completely inappropriate times 20) I love photography 21) I blush easily 22) It's confirmed that I'm allergic to alcohol, but i don't really care, i still drink.....a little 23) sometimes if you ask/tell me something, i'll go into my own little world, stare at you for a little while than respond 24) I give in to people easily 25) I've huge guys hands 26) I say 'whatever' when i don't have anything to rebut back.haha 27) I'm afraid of thunders and roaring aeroplanes when i'm alone:( 28) I love red and vintage stuff (: 29) peppermint ice cream and frozen yougurt are the bombxxx. 30) I don't like talking to ppl first cos imma afraid they would think I'm annoying But I love ppl who talk to me first (: Don't you find it funny how you can talk to a person on msn, phone or sms for hours but can't seem to find anything to talk to face to face? Well, I don't know. Maybe it's just me.
Date : Time : 12:41 AM oh bummer
Its starting to get from bad to worst Maybe I really should see a doc.
Date : Saturday, March 13, 2010 Time : 5:36 AM This is so ridiculous .
Got this from fmylife.com Today, I was walking out of a Starbucks and saw someone walking out behind me, thinking it would be the nice thing to do I held the door open. I was holding the door for about 30 seconds before realizing I was holding the door for my own shadow. FML
Date : Time : 1:02 AM I can't seem to breath properly.
I mean like for real. Whenever I try to breath in, my right side near the ribcage is super pain and my shoulder (also my right) is aching. I'm like trying to breath but it hurts :( So I've got to breath in little by little which makes my lips really pale and dry.
Date : Friday, March 12, 2010 Time : 3:42 AM I'm sorry for flaring up at you. I really
have no intention. Alot of things have happen lately and I'm super frustrated. I really really don't mean to. I feel so guilty about it. Although you ask me to rant at you sometimes, but I wouldn't want to 'burden' you with all of my problems. If I can do anything to make up for it, I would. I know you care. I shouldn't treat you like a punching bag I'm so sorry. Stop saying that I don't know you, cos it sucks :P and i don't throw tantrums.
Date : Time : 1:28 AM Everything's not okay!
Why won't you understand! I need you.
Date : Thursday, March 11, 2010 Time : 1:13 AM Hey y'all !
Finally it rained!!! Praise the lord! The weather has been crazy (I know I've said it before) Even when sleeping in an air conditioned room can make me perspire. Humidity. Tsk tsk Anyways my CAs begin next week-.- Mug, mug, mug! Can't wait for YM retreat too(: Its gonna be at St Teresa. Yeah! Love is when you find someone who didn't meet any of your standards yet you still fall.
Date : Sunday, March 7, 2010 Time : 10:49 PM There's so many things I wanna say to you but whenever I talk to you, nothing seems to be coming out of my mouth. I'm contradicting myself. Sometimes I don't wanna talk to you cos your words can hurt (sometimes) but other times, I want you to talk to me real bad ): Its like I want to like you but at the same time wish I hadn't. That kind of thing, you know. Everytime the conversation starts to end or fade away, I'll try to find something to talk about but unfortunately, it failed. In the end making a fool of myself. A relationship is not what I want. I just want you to give me a chance to like you, thats all. I want to love you, but you won't let me.No matter how hard I try to let you go, not think about you, I end up falling even harder for you. Ha. What an irony. It may sound freaking cheezy but thats how I feel. Awkward much but who cares, really.
Date : Time : 3:05 PM Excited!!!!!
Saving up for Madrid!!!! Wanna go for world youth day!!! I wanna experience it(: ---------------------------------------------------------- Why do I keep holding on to something which it isn't even there. ---------------------------------------------------------- Somethings can't be said here anymore. So I shall have a secret blog (: I have my moments sometimes and I need to type it down but I don't want you to read it because it's all about you or can you just pretend you read nothing? ---------------------------------------------------------
Date : Time : 1:53 AM Just finish watching Percy Jackson and the lighting thief :)
Haven't watch a midnight movie with my babes in a long time. Watching Alice in wonderland with Angele tomorro :) On my way home now. A freaking chao ah mo just F me in the bus. No, I meant he pointed middle finger at me when I did nothing wrong. But I find it damn amusing. Hahahah! Super hilarious!!
Date : Saturday, March 6, 2010 Time : 12:19 AM Hey my PIG !
Screw those joint syndrome. I still love you!!!!
Date : Friday, March 5, 2010 Time : 3:02 PM I need a holiday. Somewhere relaxing and nice (:
Need to get away from here. Have been saving up (: Its has been a loong time.
Date : Time : 9:53 AM My life is so screwed
Nothing seems to be going right these few days Problems after problems! I've just settled one yesterday and here comes another. Sorry to say but FML!!!!!!!
Date : Time : 3:03 AM Thank YOU for listening :)
Really appreciate it. It's nice to finally get it out of my chest. Thanks for being part of my life :) (don't think otherwise.haha)
Date : Thursday, March 4, 2010 Time : 4:22 PM Every moment I spend with you is a moment I treasure.
Date : Wednesday, March 3, 2010 Time : 11:06 PM You never even knew about the heartache
I've been going through. I feel that I should 'delete' you from my life. It's hurting me so bad. All the things you've said, I don't even know if it's the truth or not. I feel so stupid to trust every words you say. So gullible
Date : Time : 8:17 AM Feeling emo weemo these few day :P
haha got to stop doing that already. Must be more optimistic!! Focus!!! Faithfulness is Fruitful. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- I'm gonna rant so don't bother reading this part. argh! what a day! I had the worst stomach cramp ever! Class was super noisy, I had to strain my ears to hear the teacher speak for every single class! The guy next to me was screaming on top of his voice! Got a headache! Failed my test! Stained my shorts! PMS-ing! On my way back home, someone spilled coke on me! Brother and his Gf quarreling! Baby crying while they were quarreling! Wah sian!
Date : Tuesday, March 2, 2010 Time : 2:44 PM I really wish you'd say the words I want to hear.---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Lies after lies after lies Excuses after excuse after excuses I never want to talk to you again. --------------------------------------------------- ahhh! Burn my finger -.-
Date : Monday, March 1, 2010 Time : 8:19 AM No! No! No!
Not again! Mr smely-pitsy is on the same train as me again :( ----------------------------------------------- The weather is super crazy. I think she's (the weather) having the time of the month -.- Anyways, when I relax my face muscles people say I look super moody:( no wonder I have no friends :P What to do. Expect me to smile every min every sec meh ahhh! My slipper snap! Die! How to go back school later!!! |
 03 July 1991 Nineteen (: Click here for my Tumblr (: June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 ♥Angela ♥AngeleLow ♥Claire ♥EstherTay ♥EvelynSng ♥GabSeow ♥GraceSeow ♥Hui Qi ♥Ivy ♥Jay ♥Joel (tumblr) ♥Joyce ♥Lisabeth-Marie ♥Liselotte ♥RachelSim ♥Rawra ♥Savio Youth Ministry ♥SaraNatasha ♥SherilynChia (tumblr) ♥Shi Ying ♥Shu Min ♥StephanieLee ♥StephanieYap ♥NgWanTing |