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Date : Tuesday, June 29, 2010 Time : 10:43 PM Stop treating me hot and cold, hot and cold.
You like that, he also like that.
Date : Time : 1:21 AM You nag at me because you care, am I right? I hope so.
Date : Monday, June 28, 2010 Time : 7:33 PM My lullaby. Must hear You won't regret :)
Date : Time : 12:52 AM Finally home.
Walking back home from church Wasn't that bad aft all. No, wait it wasn't Bad at all :) took only like..40 mins :/ Lucky it's at night. If it was in the day with the sun Shining and all, I would have died :( Anyways, why am I talking abt this? Ahh who cares. My blog, wanna read, read. Dont wanna read, don't read. YM commissioning is coming up :) Pot luck then after party at Ben's. After Saturday, I'm a mahjong virgin no more !!! Wahaha (looking at the flavours of ice-cream on the suggestion board...) Me: (without giving much thought on how to phrase the sentence) so longinus, have you tried orgasm? or maybe sex on the beach? Longinus: eeeeeee (shows that disgusting face) Me: (thinking why was he giving that face and aft a min I realize I didnt phrase my sentence properly) ohhh... no i meant the drinks!!! moral of the story: think before you speak :)
Date : Sunday, June 27, 2010 Time : 5:56 AM Here is a list of quirky personality traits!
Highlight what applies to you. I always announce when I have to pee/use the bathroom. I won't eat my food if it touches a different food. I have to eat a variety of food in a meal. I will not blow my nose in front of other people. I put my feet up on everything. I touch everything and anything I can place my hands on. I say hello to everyone I see. I have a tendency to make everything awkward. My mind always wanders to the "sexual" side of things. I always follow things up with "That's what she said!" I repeat what people say even if I'd caught it the first time round. I'm too embarassed to ask my friends/family for tampons. I use chapstick/lip balm religiously. If I get up from the computer, even for a second, I put an away message up. I'm always leaving my phone in random places. I always keep on earphone out, in case someone needs to talk to me. No, but I'm always keeping it on low volume, or pausing it constantly. I mark off every day on the calendar. I have the same routine everytime I take a shower. I will not go out in public without makeup on. Everything about my life is very neat. It has to be. I make a to-do list every day, and I'm lost without it. I always check my phone the second I wake up. I have to pee before bed. I laugh when I hear/see the number 69. I yell "Burn!" when someone disses someone else/or I do. I can't stand silence. Especially in a car. I have to listen to something or I can't fall asleep. I have to have the TV on or I can't fall asleep. I don't use public bathrooms. Period. All my music on iTunes has to have album art. Going a day without changing my underwear, NEVER, EVER happens. I tend to skip showers frequently. I count to 20 (seconds) when I wash my hands. I don't always wash them when I'm using the bathroom. I'm always forgetting to take my pills. I have panic attacks frequently. The door(s) must be shut before I go to bed. I'm always saying chat lingo out loud (example: "LOL" or "WTF") I swear way too much for my own good. Without thinking twice, I always correct spelling/grammar mistakes. I go for weeks without checking my email. I show up late to work all the time. I tend to snack when I have nothing to do. I rewrite (or type) all my notes. I'm scared of the dark.
Date : Time : 12:48 AM Why do you make so much sense?:/
anyways, I've tried my best. From the beginning I've asked lots of people to tutor and help me but no matter how they teach me, nothing seems to get into my head. No one force me to study Os, i did it because i wanna get the cert and find a better job. I gave myself a chance but in the end I still can't do it. If I dint even try I wouldn't have thought of taking Os. I would just take my N level cert and rot at home. I've tried. I did. If not I study for fun meh? Haha. It's like people has limits so no matter how much I push myself.. you know. And If I know I can't do it why waste this time and money when I can do something more productive. I'm just taking a step at a time. Maybe you have a diff view. But I know myself, what are my limits, what I can do or cannot. The ride was great. It wasn't awkward or anything :) I hope everything stays this way :/
Date : Saturday, June 26, 2010 Time : 4:20 AM What happen to us?
Why did things turn out this way? When friends turns into foes...
Date : Friday, June 25, 2010 Time : 3:23 PM Cheeeeesepie! My brother throw
boiling hot water at me just because I wanted the house phone -.- Like WTF and it wasnt accidental. He bad mood his problem la. Take it out on me for what. Cheekenpie! Now my skin's red, burning and painful. KNN! urghhhhhh
Date : Tuesday, June 22, 2010 Time : 4:10 PM I hate it when you treat me like crap :(
My head says, "who cares?" But then my heart whispers, "you do, stupid.."
Date : Monday, June 21, 2010 Time : 5:55 PM 《情非得已》- 庾澄庆
曲：汤小康 | 词：张国祥 | 编：Jamie Wilson 难以忘记初次见你 一双迷人的眼睛 在我脑海里 你的身影 挥散不去 握你的双手感觉你的温柔 真的有点透不过气 你的天真 我想珍惜 看到你受委屈 我会伤心 * 只怕我自己会爱上你 不敢让自己靠的太近 怕我没什么能够给你 爱你也需要很大的勇气 只怕我自己会爱上你 也许有天会情不自禁 想念只让自己苦了自己 爱上你是我情非得已 什么原因 我竟然又会遇见你 我真的真的不愿意 就这样陷入爱的陷阱 Helplessly in love - Harlem Yu I cannot forget your attractive eyes the first time I met you Your image is undispersable in my mind Holding your hands feeling your gentleness Your innocence leaves me breathless I want to treasure Seeing you wronged makes me sad *I'm afraid I'll fall in love with you I do not dare to let myself be near to you I'm afraid I do not have much to offer you Loving you needs a great amount of courage I'm afraid I'll fall in love with you Maybe one day I will not be able to control my love for you Thinking of you only makes myself suffer Helplessly in love with you What is the reason for meeting you again I really really do not want to fall into this love trap
Date : Sunday, June 20, 2010 Time : 7:28 PM Uh oh! I made my Godma cry :(
Felt so guilty:( she saw my results and it wasn't good. So... Should I just go and tell her that I don't want to study or just continue? Ah sheez! ------------------------------------------------------- can I just break this promise :/ no matter how much stuff I do to keep you away from my thoughts, it still lead back to you. I know you don't care and all but I just can't pretend that this liking thing never happen. I miss you. I love you, you know that
Date : Time : 10:20 AM Don't beat ard the bush
I don't get it. Really. Otherwise I may interpret it the wrong way or I just don't get it at all :/ maybe you could make it a little simpler :)
Date : Saturday, June 19, 2010 Time : 11:25 PM I'm so Fked up with this camp.
People have been putting me down and down but I've been torlerating and tolerating. Don't I deserve some respect too. I'm human. Not some fucking robot. I've feelings too. ------------------------------------------------------------ Major breakdown! I'm super shocked with myself too Never cried this hard before. I guess it's all the accumulation that I have burying inside for so long. I have to tell people how I feel, I can't let them step over me. I'm not afraid.I just don't want to lose a friend.
Date : Time : 2:59 AM Of cos I'm talking abt you, who else
is there that I like. It's abt you, whatever I'm talking abt it's always you, and I think you know it too. You just want to hear it from me don't you.
Date : Friday, June 18, 2010 Time : 4:20 AM When they talked about you and her,
saying how compatible you both were, all the similarities you both have...my heart just aches. I know, I'm not suppose to feel this way. At first, I thought I was the only one who felt that you both were compatible and all but someone said exactly the same thing too, abt you both and I sort of confirm it already. I just can't help but think of you both, you know. ugh! I don't know wudd I'm talking about it's just one of the moments where I can't help but think otherwise. You would prolly say "oh you're thinking too much" or maybe "yes, I like her and we are together now" okay I'm not making it any better. In fact it's just worst. Maybe I just stop here and go to bed.
Date : Sunday, June 13, 2010 Time : 11:42 PM I don't want you to matter.
I fight so hard these few weeks/days trying to tell myself that you don't matter. Thinking of all the negativity and all But the feeling, it's slowly coming back and I promised nothing more. I don't wanna break it. NO! I can't. It's just wrong !
Date : Time : 4:02 AM I feel like quitting school :P
Studying is just not for me. No matter how hard I try, nothing seems to be going in :( I was so motivated to go to school and study in the beginning but after awhile my energy just starts to die down. I just wanna find a job and a course which I'm interested in. Now how do I tell my Godma about this? Cos I'll be really wasting her money if I continue studying. What should I do??
Date : Wednesday, June 9, 2010 Time : 3:41 AM From now on, I'll treat you like my brother. Nothing more, I promise.
We'll just treat everything as if nothing ever happen, shall we? No more bringing it up :)
Date : Time : 2:28 AM I'm not the kind of person who likes to express
myself openly? As in, Deep down I care for you but on the outside I act as if I don't give a damn. I tend to do that especially to my family. I just don't know how to express my feelings to them. I love them very very much but I really really don't know how to express. I can express myself with my friends but just not with my family:( I've a lot of things to learn still, alot. Since young, I never like talking abt my family. Whenever someone ask or mentions about them, I will start to cry. But now, although I'm still a bit hesitant to talk about them, at least I try. Everything starts from somewhere doesn't it :) I feel that I really have change since I've joined YM I used to push everyone away when they tried to helped, I refused to open up to anyone and always kept things to myself whether happy or sad things. My attitude was the worst of all! You could have given me a punch in the face if you would have met me then. My spitual life was screwed. I blame God whenever something happens everytime. I seldom go church anymore. After I joined YM, things just change. I started opening myself up to the YMers slowly and whatever problems Ive there's always that someone who is willing to give me advices, telling me what I can do or shouldn't do. I started trusting them as they are much mature and most of the time whatever advices they give me, it turn out right :) As for my stinking attitude, I just can say I learn A LOT. It just change overtime, little by little and I'm really glad :) For my spiritual life, the sessions they planned somehow or rather, it seems that it is meant for me to hear. It's like God wants me to hear it that kind of thing you know. So I realize that God doesn't gives us things which we cannot handle. He thinks we are strong enough to handle it that's why he gave us these problem and from then on, I stop blaming God, just keep praying and trust in Him. God put me in YM for a reason and I'm glad he did :D
Date : Tuesday, June 8, 2010 Time : 2:55 AM NOTE TO SELF:
Priscilla, you never love him. You never did. It's all in the mind. Its just your imagination. You think you like him but actually you don't. Stop psycho-ing yourself! Nothing happened. You didn't confess anything, he knows nothing. All's well :)
Date : Monday, June 7, 2010 Time : 5:24 PM Slept for 14 hours straight
and...I'm still so sleepy *yawns* On the way for supper at simpang :) When I had the chance, I dint make use of it. Now, I regret it :(
Date : Sunday, June 6, 2010 Time : 10:31 PM Camp was gooood!
Learn alot from the sessions Fr Simon gave and from the confirmants too :) Next would be Confi 3 camp on the 18th :) hope my energy won't drain by then cos Confi 4 camp my energy just wasn't there:(
Date : Friday, June 4, 2010 Time : 12:31 AM Love the last part when I was going to kiss her she turn ard:)
Date : Thursday, June 3, 2010 Time : 12:18 AM Can we talk?
I need you..now :'( ---------------------------------------------------- I told myself I need to be happy everyday So far so good :) But..today... I came across an SMS my dad send to my mum saying that he's not good, asking her to take good care of Shanice and all. He also says that he has been sleeping under void decks and seldom have a chance to bath and sooner or later the police or hospital will take him away.. I mean I don't know how I should be feeling. It's like a mixed emotion. Like I dislike him but at the same time I feel sad (don't know if that's the right word to use) for him. When I read the message I cried. I just wish he would come back home :'( --------------------------------------------------------------- You know I'm talking about you. You know it. You know I won't call you or text you about my problems unless you ask. I don't wanna bother you over the slightest things and plus you are busy. So..unless you talk to me (that's when I know you are not busy) I'll talk to you. Not because I don't wanna talk to you. It's just that..I don't want you to find me annoying and what if you're busy and I'm disturbing you..that's why I want others to talk to me first..not only you. So I'll just talk when your free.. Hope you get what I mean :) I would love for you to talk to me :D
Date : Wednesday, June 2, 2010 Time : 10:27 PM
Date : Tuesday, June 1, 2010 Time : 10:33 PM I MISS YOU, ________.
I miss your smile, your voice, your laughter, your nonsense...everything about you! how I wish I could tell you this.. instead of you just reading it off from my blog :( Can I? I don't care if you think I'm crazy or whatever. IL&MY and that's the truth. I keep telling myself that I don't miss you, and that I don't love you hoping that someday I'll believe it but...
Date : Time : 7:58 PM  Had to change my bloglink :( My brother found out abt it &@$@*%* !! Why when I am nua-ing a home, nobody seem to ask me out. And when I have something on, my friends had to ask me out and it's different people and event at the same time :( Reading my past post from my previous blog and I find it rather amusing. How I used to blogged about every single details about my day, and when I read back, I was like, I can't believe I typed all that stuff. Lol Reading old Msn conversation too. I was like sheez, I actually said all those?! But it really made my day :) Everytime I want to give up on him, there's always something inside telling me to just give it some time. |
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