I'm not the kind of person who likes to express
myself openly?
As in, Deep down I care for you but on the
outside I act as if I don't give a damn.
I tend to do that especially to my family.
I just don't know how to express my feelings to
them. I love them very very much but I really really
don't know how to express. I can express myself
with my friends but just not with my family:(
I've a lot of things to learn still, alot.
Since young, I never like talking abt my family.
Whenever someone ask or mentions about them,
I will start to cry. But now, although I'm still a bit hesitant
to talk about them, at least I try. Everything starts from somewhere
doesn't it :)
I feel that I really have change since I've joined YM
I used to push everyone away when they tried to helped, I refused
to open up to anyone and always kept things to myself whether happy or
sad things. My attitude was the worst of all! You could have given me a punch
in the face if you would have met me then. My spitual life was screwed. I blame
God whenever something happens everytime. I seldom go church anymore.
After I joined YM, things just change. I started opening myself up to the YMers slowly
and whatever problems Ive there's always that someone who is willing to give me advices, telling me
what I can do or shouldn't do. I started trusting them as they are much mature and most of the time
whatever advices they give me, it turn out right :) As for my stinking attitude, I just can say I learn A LOT.
It just change overtime, little by little and I'm really glad :) For my spiritual life, the sessions they planned somehow
or rather, it seems that it is meant for me to hear. It's like God wants me to hear it that kind of thing you know.
So I realize that God doesn't gives us things which we cannot handle. He thinks we are strong enough to handle it
that's why he gave us these problem and from then on, I stop blaming God, just keep praying and trust in Him.
God put me in YM for a reason and I'm glad he did :D